Three Hours I'll Never Get Back...

I was trying to be responsible. I really was. Seeing as I had to be up early Saturday for a Colour Run (yay!), when my roommate called early Friday evening to ask if I had any interest in seeing a play with her I hurriedly said yes.

A play -- that'd be awesome! I reckoned, and it wouldn't leave me hungover the next day for the event.

I wish I had a hangover.

We went to see "The Secret River," a play about a famous Australian book, and depicts the conflict and struggle between the English settlers and the Aboriginals in early day Australia. I had high hopes as it was at the Sydney Theatre Company, which until very recently was managed/directed by Cate Blanchett and her husband and has a reputation for being the best theatre company in Sydney.

Remember when you read "The Old Man and the Sea" for English class and wanted to fall asleep because it was so boring and drawn out? Pretty much an Australian version of that.

I'll spare you going to see it and tell you the story here. Time how long it takes you to read:

-Man steals in London, death sentenced is pardoned if he's willing to go to Australia and serve as a convict. Takes his family.
-Man gets pardoned and wants to stay because he can claim land. Wife is pissed, but agrees to 5 years in the bush with him.
-The bush life is hard. They sit around a lot. They get scared of the Aboriginals who wander onto their property. Try to explain that this is their land and to get off, but the language barrier is a bit tough.
-The son makes friends with two young Aboriginials. Gets whipped by Dad for it.
-More hard bush life.
-Aboriginals kill one of their friends.
-Man and his friends kill a bunch of Aboriginials.
-Man is remorseful but can now stay on his property without any worry or intruders.
-Symbolic end: man is now prosperous and stumbles across a homeless/down and out Aboriginal, tries to get him to move so he can help. Aboriginal says the land is his, and man gets that that's what he fought for not so long ago. End scene.

2 minutes? 3, max? That's how long the play should have been. Not three hours. After the first act (hour and a half) there had been nothing to indicate a firm story line or where the story would ultimately climax. I turned to my roommate and said "the wife's either going to die, or they're going to kill each other." Kind of like guessing an M. Night Shamalan ending after they became obvious, right?

After waiting another hour some action finally happened, but the entire play moved at such a glacial pace that I couldn't stop yawning and begging time to hurry up.

I will say that I thoroughly enjoyed the set and effects, but that's about all. I'm guessing this is a play better suited for someone more intellectual than myself?

Three hours I'll never get back......

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